I haven't posted for awhile. I am struggling a little with my health lately. My energy has just bottomed out and I am challenged trying to work and care for the family. I took thes shots of Michaela which echo my being. I'm sure things will improve shortly and I'll be full of sass again soon.

Enough for now...love to all.

QUIRKY IN THE MOST DELIGHTFUL WAY.

I have been really blessed in my life with really interesting friends. When describing my most unique and enjoyable friends (and my children), I will usually say, he/she is quirky in the most delightful way.

Such is the case with my dear friend, Joan Smith

I took this photo of Joan this weekend in San Clemente. I think she would like being lit with this golden light. She deserves a Vermeer approach to her portrait.

I first met Joan when she moved in across the street on Connor Ridge Cove a few years ago but I feel like I have known her for years. We become good friends via our love for books, music and beautiful things. She is generous beyond belief. And if you are looking for a good book, you will leave her home with three or four.

There is a beautiful straightforwardness to Joan. She doesn't waste her time on things she does not enjoy or value. She artfully evades the guilt plague which afflicts most Mormon women. But she knows where her talents lie, and she gives freely without keeping tally.

When you need a place to lay down you burdens, you can go to Joan. She will listen without judgement. She has an uncanny way of making difficult times seem trivial while validating your feelings.

A couple of years ago, Joan decided that I was her seventh daughter. An honor I do not take lightly. My family and I have been included in many a family dinner at the Smith's. There are always interesting conversations as her husband and children weave in and out. You see, she has raised independent thinkers and the conversation is always about more about ideas than people. Although, we are not above discussing a certain church leader who parks his vehicle diagonally across multiple spaces at the church.

She is timeless and is one of the few that can pull off wearing kaftans without looking like a throw back from Three's Company.

She will likely never read this tribute but the goodwill I feel towards this great woman will find its way to her heart..

Enough for now...love to all.

ODE to my dream and HOMAGE to reality.

I am on a mini vacation with the kids tonight. I had a business conference in Monterey so I decided to drive with the kids and let them do the hotel thing with me. I love being with these two. Micheala cracked me up today. We had purchase a can of Pringles to share. She was doling them out slowly (too slowly for Spence and I). She was making Spence wait, so I gave him mine. She stated, "How is he ever going to learn, if you just give him what he wants." Tomorrow we go to Hearst Castle--I have never been and will try to stop in Solvang if we still have the energy. Photos to follow.
I am having a little issue with anger management myself lately. I have no direct evidence but my less than empirical evidence shows that Californians are just plain rude especially when it comes to women traveling with children. Maybe is has something to do with the space per capita. Yesterday, Spence was having difficulty opening a rather heavy door. It caused a man who came up behind him to sigh and roll his eyes. Normally, I just ignore it but I am turning into the guy from "Network"--mad as @#$% and not gonna take it anymore. In a calm voice, I said to the gentleman, "you don't need to be rude, he is a ten year old boy." A second incident took place today where someone was screaming in a parking lot because we were in the wrong spot. Spencer had thrown up in the car and Michaela and I were trying to dispose of the towels we used to clean up. We were inconveniencing this man because he had to wait a few seconds to get into the space. After his response, I indicated that a child had just thrown up and we were trying to get it taken care of. The man was absolutely unaffected. His need to get into a parking space was greater than a barfing child. Incredible. Michaela and I talked about it after. I am reminded of the intense need for gentility and patience in the world. I am not there but am willing to give you a break if you cut me off in traffic or take my parking space (especially if barf is involved).
Enough for now....love to all.

I just looked at my last post and realized that I should have explained why I included that photo. It looks strangely out of place amidst the photos of kids. I guess the photo is a total juxtapose with the text but the truth is...this photo never really captured the strength of my relationship with my dh. It is some photographers #5 on the list of mandatory engagement photos. A more realistic pose would be dh and I doing the firemans's carry or pulling an ox cart. We have had the blessing of working alongside each other for 12 years. One of the things I have always admired about my husband is his willingness to work. He has never been one to watch me clean around him. If I begin straightening up an area, he is right beside me doing his share. I'm sure I have his mother to thank for that and I would hope Spence is the same with his wife someday.
Enough for now...love to all.

Real and Practical Love

Doug and I went to a party on Friday night. There were about 12 other couples and the hostess had planned a couple of icebreaker games. We played a couple of rounds of "I've Never", where you say something you have never done and the those that have have to contribute a penny to the pot. Then we played "Two Truths and a Lie." Here was my contribution:

1. I sat by Fabio in an airport lounge. TRUE And he is totally huge and rather greasy looking.

2. I was on "Good Morning America." TRUE

The year I graduated from High School, I did summer stock theatre in Jackson Hole, WY. Good Morning America came to do a feature story on Jackson. That morning I just happened to be playing the part of the saloon gal in the shootout in the square.

3. I piloted a 747. FALSE

Anyway, as the evening waxed more languid, we started sharing engagement stories. The couples ranged from newlyweds to 25+ marriages. It was so interesting. The stories ran the gamut from wonderfully romantic with a fairytale setup to the low-risk "okay, so some day I might want to marry you, what do you think." One couple made a hasty exit and it seemed clear that this topic was off limits in a group. Finally, the asked the Tates. This has always been kinda a sore topic for me. Doug and I got engaged after a serious discussion (argument). We had carried on a long distance relationship for 8 months. I was living in Toronto at the time and I would fly down every few weeks and Doug would fly up when he could arrange for the kids care. Our discussion at Murray Park was a "fish or cut bait" talk. If we were not getting married, I needed to move on and not waste my time. The "will you marry me?" wasn't spontaneous or beautifully orchestrated, more like a concession to circumstance. I have always held a little resentment about this, petty to be sure. When it came our turn to share our "engagement story", I let Doug tell it. At first, he futzed around. He knew this was a major set-up. At one point, he just got down on one knee and asked me, "if I would still marry him?" Of course, I said yes. Then I exclaimed, "let the healing begin." It was funny but somewhat touching at the same time. It made me reflect on how many times Doug has allowed me to take the lead when he thought it would make me happy. I am not easy to live with and he thinks about my comfort and happiness often. Okay, ours is not a movie type of love but it is enduring and constant and I am totally blessed to have real, practical love in my marriage.

Enough for now...love to all.

Lately, I am becoming more and more aware of my whinitude. If I am not complaining about something I am not comfortable. It can really become as habit forming as my first love--Diet Coke- and much tougher to give up. I need a patch. Or at least some type of medication to wean me from the energy I am taking from this. And the energy it is taking from my life.

An old favorite joke:

Wife to Husband: But honey, I told you I wanted to vacation in the wine country.

Husband to Wife: Honey, everywhere I go with you in whine country.

I found this article online and while I know it is intended for children, maybe my friends, who really love me, can pretend to parent me through this...

How to Stop Whining in 4 Easy Steps
Whining is a habit your child developed over time, and it will take a little time to break it. But, don't despair; you can stop your child's whining habit. Here's how.
Notice when she whines and choose your response. Changing the pattern of whining begins when you change how you respond to it.
When you notice her whining, call her attention to it. Whining has become an unconscious habit by the time she reaches elementary school. She needs to learn to recognize it first. Some strategies you can try are:
Purposeful ignoring. You can even say "I'm ignoring you when you use your whiny voice. Try again in your normal voice and I'll pay attention."
Whine back. Use a bit of humor to cue her to notice her whining by showing what a whiny voice sounds like.
Stop her immediately when she whines and say, "Do you hear that you are whining? Tell me the same thing in your normal voice."
Tone of voice is the hallmark of whining, but the child's reaction to being told 'no' is another component of whining.
She needs to learn a new habit to replace whining, so help her learn the right approach to asking for what she wants. Asking politely is an important social skill that you can teach directly. To teach a child to accept 'no' for an answer can be more of a challenge. I like the approach from Common-Sense Parenting. Teach your child to:
Stop and look at Mom or Dad
Say "OK"
Stay calm. Do not argue or whine.
If you disagree, discuss it later, calmly and in private.
Reinforce non-whining. Focus on the problem for 2-3 months, and thereafter if the habit creeps back. Notice when she asks politely and when she accepts 'no' for an answer without whining. Praise and reward her to reinforce the new learning. When she does whine, pause, look at her, and call attention to the whining if necessary. Help her think through what she should say and how to practice the new learning. Watch your own whining too, so that social learning doesn't overcome your efforts to break your child's whining habit.

Enough for now...love to all.

While looking at the Type Pad website, I was led to read Scott Adams blog. Scott is the creator of Dilbert. I was so charmed by this post, until the end, when he declares he is an agnostic rather than a believer. I still think the argument is worth considering for those of us who believe in God.

The Atheist Who Thought He Was God
Can we ever be sure about anything in life?
Is a feeling of 99% certainty enough to say you “know” something? Or do you need to feel 99.9999999999% certain before you’re willing to commit?
If you say you need to be 100% certain, you don’t understand how human brains work. It’s common for the human brain to be certain about things that later turn out to be completely false. It happens all the time, to everyone. If it has ever happened to you, then you know you can’t trust your own powers of certainty.
This brings me to atheists. In order to be certain that God doesn’t exist, you have to possess a godlike mental capacity – the ability to be 100% certain. A human can’t be 100% certain about anything. Our brains aren’t that reliable. Therefore, to be a true atheist, you have to believe you are the very thing that you argue doesn’t exist: God.
Perhaps you will argue that being 99.999999% certain God doesn’t exist is just as good as being 100% sure. That strikes me as bad math. As other philosotainers have famously noted, a small chance of spending eternity in Hell has to be taken seriously. Eternity is a long time.
Let me put this in perspective. You might be willing to accept a 10% risk of going skiing and getting hurt, but you wouldn’t accept a 10% risk of a nuclear war. The larger the potential problem, the less risk you are willing to tolerate.
An eternity in Hell is the largest penalty there could ever be. So while you might not worry about a .00000000001% chance of ending up in Hell, you can’t deny the math. .00000000001% of eternity is a lot longer than your entire mortal life. Infinitely longer.
I sometimes call myself an atheist because it’s too hard to explain Spinoza’s version of god. And it’s too hard to explain that agnosticism is the only intellectually defensible position.

After reading this I hope you will feel more grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost, which testifies and communicates truth in a way no mortal man can, regardless of their brilliant humanity.

Enough for now...love to all.

We went to the Orange County Fair this weekend. I was very impressed. I remember going to the Strawberry Festival as a kid growing up in Garden Grove. This year's theme was "Cowabunga", hence the surfing cow sand sculpture. The Peking Acrobat troupe photos are fodder for a number of posts on balance, of which I am in sore need. One thing I did note. The older I get, the less I know how to have fun. My expectation that I should be able to meet every family members desire for a good time robs me. I fully get that this is my problem and also that I have indulged my children to the point that they believe everything is always about them. My parenting leaves much to desire. When they aren't satisfied with the outcome of what we do or where we go, I try to nail them with the "ungrateful" spiel.

Yesterday, Spencer and I were doing our visiting teaching. I know it is a little weird but I take him as my companion because both sisters I visit have little boys that love Spencer. At the second visit, the kids decided to whack each other with toys swords. One of the kids leveled a pretty good swing at Spencer's face right on his glasses and he ended up with a nasty bruise. On the way home in the car, he was telling me that he was trying to protect the youngest child, a little girl named Natalie, but that her brothers weren't showing their younger sister any mercy so he stepped in front of the sword. Spence and I have talked many times about the challenges (and benefits) of being the youngest. He told me the youngests' need to stick together. I told him that one of the blessings of being the youngest is that you learn compassion for others. You know what it feels like to be picked on and you don't want others to experience that hurt. He shook his head and said, "yeah, if you don't get killed before you grow up." He is a tender hearted soul and I will always be grateful for him in my life.

Enough for now...love to all.

I am thinking about defecting from Blogger. I want to be like the other kids with Blog Sites that look like they were created by professional marketing agencies. I want to be a blogga playa. I don't have any idea why cause the whole point of my blog is to reach out to my nearly double digit fan base and post pretty pictures of my beloveds. We will see if I have the energy and skill to move from the minors to the big time.

Enough for now...love to all.

I am an addict and I am raising a family of addicts. My only solace is that the things we are addicted to are not life threatening and will likely (hopefully) not land us on the sidewalk with our belongings in plastic garbage bags. This is a photo of Michaela. Her current passion/addition is Runescape. She chose to sit up on a counter continuing to play rather than take a brief break while we were vacuuming the floor beneath her feet. Okay, so her body is more nimble and what seemed totally uncomfortable to me is not that taxing for an 11 year old girl.

Spencer is addicted to "that darn DS." I have place severe restrictions in place. No...you may not take your gameboy to primary or scouts. No...you may not take your gameboy when we go out to eat as a family (one of the few times we have them captive for stimulating conversation). If I stand in front of you asking questions and your glazed ravenous eyes and ears register nothing I am saying, you will be banished from the electronic instrument of evil.

My addiction to Diet Coke is back with a vengence. It is the first craving I have each day as I wake.

My other newest addiction are these blogs themselves. I have begun to discover a network of women bloggers that I do not know personally but they know someone I know and they have some really interesting things to say. Some of them quite frankly have a little too much time on their hands or else they are so incredibly organized that their blogs like their homes are always spotless and well-tended. Also so interesting to watch the homefront businesses these creative women have cooked up. Today I came across a giveaway from a woman who is raffling off a blog redesign. She does beautiful layouts and charges $70 per to custom design your blog. I don't know what I'll do if I don't win.

Enough for now...love to all.

HAPPY 100TH POST

When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that when we meet again you will know me. It means that even after I died, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart." -- Fredrick Buechner from Whistling in the Dark
I was reading a blog and someone had passed on and this quote was part of a tribute. What absolutely lovely words. One day I will create a list of those who have left a mark of who I am on who you are.

The kids are in SURF SCHOOL this week. The best thing is Spencer likes it. It has been somewhat difficult to find sports that he enjoys let alone those he is willing to try. He has become a water kid and this is perfect for him. Photos to follow.
Enough for now...love to all.

I bought some baby bottles for a little game at Celeste Bowler's shower. Well we never got around to the game but my dear baby boy Spencer managed to try it out anyway. I love this sweet young man child and plan to save this photo for his wedding video.

Well we had a great time in Utah. I drove home with Spence and Michaela. I was a little concerned because the DVD player wasn't working. I get the bright idea to buy some book on tape. Not much selection at Walmart but at Deseret Book in Cedar City we bought a copy of Fablehaven on CD. Fablehaven turns out to be a LDS version of Harry Potter. Honestly, it was a great listen for all ages. We made it halfway through the book before we pulled in to our driveway. Highly recommended for all ages.

Uncle Steve, Aunt Terra and Kyle called Saturday morning and told us they were bored at their "chateau" on Morro Bay so they drove an extra six hours to hang out with us in Seal Beach. We took the Aqua Taxi to Long Beach and saw "Hairspray." I loved the original John Waters version so it was a treat for me. Apparently, I was the only one who loved it. I guess the show is an acquired taste. I even enjoyed John Travolta is drag (he has not received great reviews). Thank goodness Zac Ephron from High School Musical was in the show or I would have had a full scale mutiny on my hands.

Enough for now...love to all.

VISITING HOURS

We have spent most of this vacation week visiting. We came to Salt Lake to return April to her rightful home and to help celebrate Grandma Dickson's 85th birthday. It has been so fun to see those we love.

Saturday: Lunch with the Bunnells and the party at Grandma Dickson's House

Sunday: Sacrament in our old ward. The high councilman speaking mentioned how nice it was to see "The Tates" in church. I wonder if he thinks we have been inactive these past 15 months. Grandma Tates for Sunday dinner, then back to our circle to visit the Smith, Dallimores, Gourleys and Rose and Jay.

Monday: Family Home Evening at Liberty Park with my side of the family. One mean volleyball game.

Tuesday: Lunch with my book club and dinner with Norma.

All of this sprinkled with generous visits with Clint, Natalie, Kailey Jo, Steve and Amanda.

Tomorrow is Spencers birthday, then we load up the truck and back to Beverly (Seal Beach).

We are about loved out. Honestly, this reminds us of how richly blessed we are with friends and family. Our hearts (and tummys) are full.

Enough for now...love to all.

Michaela's birthday was on Wednesday. As I young girl, sometimes I would sneak a peek at my mothers journal (sorry Mom) looking to see how I figured into her life.

Michaela has been the joy in my life for 11 years. I love her spunk. In one of my favorite books, a father describes his son by saying, "there was a brightness in him." That is how I feel about Michaela, she has a brightness in her.

If we were contemporaries, instead of mother and daughter, I would have wanted to be her friend. She is a riot and not afraid to try anything, except scary rides. But she constantly challenges herself, she has committed to going on the Matterhorn her next trip to Disneyland.

She is fierce often taking on the older kids in games. She fares best in video games and can beat the older boys.

Someone in our new ward once described Michaela as a "friend maker." She easily accepts others into her circle.

I am so blessed to have the opportunity to parent this amazing spirit. Michaela, you are my best thing.

Enough for now...love to all.

I have been clinging to the end of the on-the-rack section of the department store for too long and I have to start paying some attention to my weight. I blame it on stress but this month I moved from misses to the womens department....and started a diet.

Now I am not above the quick fix so I investigated the Alli Weight Loss Program.

Funny but before I begin with their program, they want to assess my readiness. They think we are friends and that we will have friendly interaction before we begin. They don't realize the adversarial position they undertake as they seek to get between me and comfort. In addition, they expect me to commit. I do not know these people but here they are asking me if I am ready for Alli and what my plan is.

The feature of the plan that I find most attractive in the short term is that if you overdo with the fat content in your meals, the pill rewards you with unpleasant side effects referred to as "treatment effects." It seems similar to what happens to a post gastric bypass patient if they pig out.

Seems strange but I almost need the threat to get started. For 3 days I have made better choices and eaten normal sized portions. Who knows how long fear will battle desire but for today I am in control.

Hopefully, in a few months, I will no longer feel the need to hide in the back during photos or use my children to strategically hide my bulges. Or not.

This photo was from Celeste Bowler's baby shower. I also got a beautiful shot of one of my favorite bloggers so I will post in her honor.

Tomorrow is Michaela's 11th Birthday. She has been a total joy for me this past 11 years. I will dedicate a post for her tomorrow but when she was around 4 years old she told us all that her birthday was on July Tweleventh (11th). She is also convinced that on her visit to 7/11 tomorrow for a free slurpee, they will offer her the larger size since she shares a birthday with the establishment.

Enough for now...love to all.

We have had a busy couple of days. On the 4th we started with a breakfast at the church. There was a contest for the most Patriotic Dress. Michaela won in the childs category (she made her own costume) and April and Spence for the older kids. I went as Betsy Floss (Michaela's brainchild--you dress as Betsy Ross and hang dental floss around your neck). Doug tied a piece of patriotic fabric around his head and let people guess who he was. Easyrider was mentioned numerous times.

Michaela has been a "fairness fairy" most of her life. I know her first words were Mama and Dada but her first sentence was "that's not fair."

Last night she sat on Spencer's head. Needless to say, he was hurt and I sent her to her room. She began her constant whine that begins...you never see what he does...you always blame me...etc.

I went up to talk to her later and she confessed that she has a problem with "anger management" (her words not mine). She expressed a desire to find a more appropriate way to negotiate with Spence. She then went down to the computer and drafted this document. While it is charming as can be, I truly appreciate the intent of this young girl. She understands that she has a choice how she will react and is taking responsibility to change the home she lives in for the better. Formidable.

Michaela's manifesto:

House rules for safety and fairness
These rules are to represent having fights turned around to result in better daily schedules that can help our daily lives in this very busy house with 5 people living in fury and fun (there are fights and fun). This house document is being typed by one of the former livers of this crazy life style and I say that this document will help everyone in this house become more peaceful and understanding. Most people in this house don’t want to deal with fights, get hurt, or have their stuff or power disrespected in this house, which happens daily causing many fights and lots of anger which slows us down every day resulting in bad conflict and much crankiness which makes the house very busy and tiring to live at and deal with everyday. So as a resident you would wonder what it would be like without the fighting and disrespect, let me give you examples. Less fighting in the house, more pride in what belongs to you, less tiredness in daily schedules, and more peace and happiness around the house which will make much more time to relax. Now this is what possibly could happen if these rules were followed.

1. No joking around on things that could make other people angry.

2. Try to respect others special items that they wouldn’t want taken.

3. Always ask before you take something that doesn’t belong to you.

4. Be polite by answering yes 5 out of 10 times after someone asks.

5. Do not ask the same question one after another.

6. Make out a plan before playing a game that may turn out unfair.

7. If someone asks but you’re playing on the item simply work out turns.

8. “No” can be said more than once for safety or emergency.

These are the rules that I believe will make the house a much better place to live.

________________________ ________________________
Child signature Parent signature
________________________ ________________________
Child signature Parent signature

___________________________
Guardian signature (this is April)

I Michaela Tate believe in a more peaceful house, if you do sign here.

That is all thanks for listening.

Enough for now...love to all.

Okay, as I was reading about blogging, someone suggested making up nicknames for the main characters in your story (family) to protect their identity. I have been thinking about what to call Spence and Michaela (see--apparently I don't get it cause I just revealed their identity).

The Nutty Professor may be my choice for this child.

These are two questions he has posed to me within the past 24 hours.

1. Mom, if you took a block of cheese, threw it in the air, and hit it very hard with a tennis racket, what do you think would happen?

2. Mom, if you were on a deserted island, would you eat your foot? When I hesitated he followed up with-- You could cook it first.

He is slighty nuts and boy am I a lucky mom.

Thanks to my NBBF SF(new best blog friend), I can now post a blog award tag on my site. Thank you, SF!!!! I am learning so much from you.

Okay, so the point of these tags is to acknowledge other Rockin Girl Bloggers. CP has been a friend and mentor of mine for over 10 years. She introduced me to blogging back in Oct 06. This is the first time in my life that I have successfully maintained a journal. It got me interested in taking pictures and documenting our lives more consistently. A total gift. CP has been blogging for almost a year and her love of family and friends inspires us all. She is funny, loving and to the point. She is a talented writer and all around renaissance woman, blending family and career with great skill.

So it is with great pleasure that I award this tag to:

Real Life by Carrie Pearson. http://carriepearson.blogspot.com/

You totally rock.

Enough for now...love to all.

Today is my Birthday!! When I was 30, I threw my own 30th Surprise Birthday Party. It was a totally great party. In that spirit, I am writing my own 47th Birthday Tribute..... I started to write a list of 25 great things everyone should know about me but I got kinda tired just thinking about which 25 to select. I dug this out of my e-mail. So just think I can write about myself and assuage my guilt around all the people who sent this to me and assumed I would pass it on and I never did.

Four jobs I have had in my life

1. Travel counselor for Jackson Hole Chamber of Commerce

2. Wedding florist

3. Top Rep for Dynix (Library Automation) (this one is for you Carrie)
4. Currently work with Honda, Suzuki, Mitsu and Kia

Four movies I have watched over and over again

1. Room with a View

2. The Mission

3. Cry, the Beloved Country

4. All the Harry Potters and Lord of the Rings

Four TV shows I love to watch

1. Any and all reality shows, regardless of the worth. I once watched an afternoon of Flavor of Love Charm school. Pathetic, I should be embarassed.
2. The 4400

3. The Office
4. All varieties of Law and Order

A few places I have been on vacation

1. Italy

2. Carribean: 5 cruises
3. D.C.
4. Florida

Four of my favorite foods

1. Shrimp Scampi

2. Pasta Carbonara
3. Cheese Enchiladas
4. Chocolate
[I love food -- this list could be very long]

Four places I would rather be right now

1. Taking a nap

2. Italy

3. Making cards
4. Reading a good book

Four things you do not know about me:

1. I can do a stupid person trick where I fold my elbows inside each othe and put my head through the middle.

2. I once worked on a church project with Bill Marriott. He would call me for the meetings and it totally freaked out my co-workers.

3. When I watch, "So You Think You Can Dance," I think I can.

4. I believe I can do most anything (except professional sports).

Four ways I am incredibly blessed:

1. I have an amazing family including extended who are loving and supportive.

2. I have incredibly loving and talented friends.

3. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ to guide me in life. This makes all other blessings sweeter.

4. I am richly provided for in all ways.

Happy Birthday to me!

Enough for now...love to all.