Lately, I am becoming more and more aware of my whinitude. If I am not complaining about something I am not comfortable. It can really become as habit forming as my first love--Diet Coke- and much tougher to give up. I need a patch. Or at least some type of medication to wean me from the energy I am taking from this. And the energy it is taking from my life.
An old favorite joke:
Wife to Husband: But honey, I told you I wanted to vacation in the wine country.
Husband to Wife: Honey, everywhere I go with you in whine country.
I found this article online and while I know it is intended for children, maybe my friends, who really love me, can pretend to parent me through this...
How to Stop Whining in 4 Easy Steps
Whining is a habit your child developed over time, and it will take a little time to break it. But, don't despair; you can stop your child's whining habit. Here's how.
Notice when she whines and choose your response. Changing the pattern of whining begins when you change how you respond to it.
When you notice her whining, call her attention to it. Whining has become an unconscious habit by the time she reaches elementary school. She needs to learn to recognize it first. Some strategies you can try are:
Purposeful ignoring. You can even say "I'm ignoring you when you use your whiny voice. Try again in your normal voice and I'll pay attention."
Whine back. Use a bit of humor to cue her to notice her whining by showing what a whiny voice sounds like.
Stop her immediately when she whines and say, "Do you hear that you are whining? Tell me the same thing in your normal voice."
Tone of voice is the hallmark of whining, but the child's reaction to being told 'no' is another component of whining.
She needs to learn a new habit to replace whining, so help her learn the right approach to asking for what she wants. Asking politely is an important social skill that you can teach directly. To teach a child to accept 'no' for an answer can be more of a challenge. I like the approach from Common-Sense Parenting. Teach your child to:
Stop and look at Mom or Dad
Say "OK"
Stay calm. Do not argue or whine.
If you disagree, discuss it later, calmly and in private.
Reinforce non-whining. Focus on the problem for 2-3 months, and thereafter if the habit creeps back. Notice when she asks politely and when she accepts 'no' for an answer without whining. Praise and reward her to reinforce the new learning. When she does whine, pause, look at her, and call attention to the whining if necessary. Help her think through what she should say and how to practice the new learning. Watch your own whining too, so that social learning doesn't overcome your efforts to break your child's whining habit.
Whining is a habit your child developed over time, and it will take a little time to break it. But, don't despair; you can stop your child's whining habit. Here's how.
Notice when she whines and choose your response. Changing the pattern of whining begins when you change how you respond to it.
When you notice her whining, call her attention to it. Whining has become an unconscious habit by the time she reaches elementary school. She needs to learn to recognize it first. Some strategies you can try are:
Purposeful ignoring. You can even say "I'm ignoring you when you use your whiny voice. Try again in your normal voice and I'll pay attention."
Whine back. Use a bit of humor to cue her to notice her whining by showing what a whiny voice sounds like.
Stop her immediately when she whines and say, "Do you hear that you are whining? Tell me the same thing in your normal voice."
Tone of voice is the hallmark of whining, but the child's reaction to being told 'no' is another component of whining.
She needs to learn a new habit to replace whining, so help her learn the right approach to asking for what she wants. Asking politely is an important social skill that you can teach directly. To teach a child to accept 'no' for an answer can be more of a challenge. I like the approach from Common-Sense Parenting. Teach your child to:
Stop and look at Mom or Dad
Say "OK"
Stay calm. Do not argue or whine.
If you disagree, discuss it later, calmly and in private.
Reinforce non-whining. Focus on the problem for 2-3 months, and thereafter if the habit creeps back. Notice when she asks politely and when she accepts 'no' for an answer without whining. Praise and reward her to reinforce the new learning. When she does whine, pause, look at her, and call attention to the whining if necessary. Help her think through what she should say and how to practice the new learning. Watch your own whining too, so that social learning doesn't overcome your efforts to break your child's whining habit.
Enough for now...love to all.
3 comments:
You mean having a whining contest, is not a good idea?
Love ya, Boyd
If I don't whine, Heather won't talk to me. So, I really don't see the problem.
Love,
Reva
I really some times think, whining is best with cheese and crackers.
Love, Boyd
Some times the old jokes are the best.
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