Sunday, August 05, 2007


Real and Practical Love


Doug and I went to a party on Friday night. There were about 12 other couples and the hostess had planned a couple of icebreaker games. We played a couple of rounds of "I've Never", where you say something you have never done and the those that have have to contribute a penny to the pot. Then we played "Two Truths and a Lie." Here was my contribution:

1. I sat by Fabio in an airport lounge. TRUE And he is totally huge and rather greasy looking.

2. I was on "Good Morning America." TRUE

The year I graduated from High School, I did summer stock theatre in Jackson Hole, WY. Good Morning America came to do a feature story on Jackson. That morning I just happened to be playing the part of the saloon gal in the shootout in the square.

3. I piloted a 747. FALSE

Anyway, as the evening waxed more languid, we started sharing engagement stories. The couples ranged from newlyweds to 25+ marriages. It was so interesting. The stories ran the gamut from wonderfully romantic with a fairytale setup to the low-risk "okay, so some day I might want to marry you, what do you think." One couple made a hasty exit and it seemed clear that this topic was off limits in a group. Finally, the asked the Tates. This has always been kinda a sore topic for me. Doug and I got engaged after a serious discussion (argument). We had carried on a long distance relationship for 8 months. I was living in Toronto at the time and I would fly down every few weeks and Doug would fly up when he could arrange for the kids care. Our discussion at Murray Park was a "fish or cut bait" talk. If we were not getting married, I needed to move on and not waste my time. The "will you marry me?" wasn't spontaneous or beautifully orchestrated, more like a concession to circumstance. I have always held a little resentment about this, petty to be sure. When it came our turn to share our "engagement story", I let Doug tell it. At first, he futzed around. He knew this was a major set-up. At one point, he just got down on one knee and asked me, "if I would still marry him?" Of course, I said yes. Then I exclaimed, "let the healing begin." It was funny but somewhat touching at the same time. It made me reflect on how many times Doug has allowed me to take the lead when he thought it would make me happy. I am not easy to live with and he thinks about my comfort and happiness often. Okay, ours is not a movie type of love but it is enduring and constant and I am totally blessed to have real, practical love in my marriage.

Enough for now...love to all.

3 comments:

Boyd Smith said...

Stacey;
I would tell you about my engagement, but it would make you cry.......from laughter.

The fact is, we started out a little rough, and went 29 years, so far.

I know you got what it takes to go the distance.

By the way, here is my three.

1. I once went 110 miles an hour, on the freeway, in front of a cop and he didn't do any thing about it.

2. I've been on the local news, five times (with no convictions).

3. I once had a truck break down, (while I was a truck driver) and was kicked out of three motels, because of the company's credit card problems, all on Friday the thirteenth.

Go ahead and guess.

Love, Boyd and Shar

The Duncan Proect said...

I am hoping it was number 1. I guess there are many stories to tell out there.
One day I want to hear the engagement story.
Love,
Stacey

Boyd Smith said...

It was number 2.

I did go 110 miles an hour on the way to the Deep Purple concert. I had a friend who had a 63 corvette, who I know was also going to the Deep Purple concert. While going down the freeway, I saw him coming up fast, in my rear view mirror. I was driving my GTO and punched it to catch up with him. What I didn't see was he was being pulled over by one of the highway patrols, finest.

It was a stooped thing to do. but once you do something that dumb, you must wait thirty years before you can admit it.
Love you, Boyd