Well yesterday was interesting. At 9:30 in the morning, I was sitting at my desk in sweats when Michaela called and plaintively cried, "Is anybody coming to my graduation?" What!!!!! I had no idea, 5th grade graduation. I pulled it together and ran with April (our new wonder helper/nanny) to the grocery store for flowers and a grad balloon. You see I have come to understand that we overcelebrate the mundane. If I don't want Michaela in a therapists office in 15 yrs. talking about what an absentee mother she had, I have to step up my game.

We got there took the photos and all was well. I did note that Michaela was one of 3 girls not wearing prom-like attire. The graduation lasted just over an hour, complete with 4 speeches and a listen to "I Have Been Changed for Good" from Wicked.

I only laugh...do you list 5th grade graduation on your resume? Is moving to Middle School cause for celebration?

I only know we did our best not to embarass our beautiful child. After all she is my world.

Enough for now....love to all.

Today is Father's Day and we have had a lovely day. Steve and Amanda surprised Doug by flying in this am. We tricked him pretty good. I told him the kids were making him breakfast and he needed to stay in bed till they brought in up. When Amanda and Steve walked in with Bacon and French toast he was truly surprised.

This day started me thinking about my own father. My father was a curious character and often has the role of villian in our family story. Richard Byron Smith, my dad, was an alcoholic who abused his children. Many of the pivotal memories of my childhood center around on his inexcusable behavior while drunk and the total lack of control and disregard he exhibited towards those he loved while in this state.

Tonight, however, I started thinking of some of the gifts my father gave me. First and foremost, my dad was a dreamer. I remember the many ideas he had for inventions. A few of the ideas were pretty amazing and had alcohol and general craziness not been such a driver in his life, he could have had a number of patents and likely been a wealthy man. He was intensely creative and saw things as raw materials not as what someone told them they were. He owned his own business maintaining small parking lots. If he needed a part to make a vehicle work and it didn't exist he would create his own solution. I remember he talked about the need for reflective materials on freeway lanes long before the bumps on the freeway ever existed. I think he was happiest when we was figuring out a way to make something work. I have always thought my brother Steve was incredibly mechanical like Dad. I have respect for Dad's creativity and share a certain energy in working with my hands to create things.

My dad was very intelligent. He loved words and language. He loved classical music and musicals. I love many of the same things.

He believed I was smart. When I tested in the gifted class in Elementary School, then called Mentally Gifted Minors, (I just had a good laugh with my kids about the name of the program.)He was so proud. He used to buy used "It Pays to Increase Your Word Power" workbooks and have me work through them. At the time, it seemed crazy, other kids in the neighborhood were not expected to endure this type of "homeschooling." As a result, I have never felt inadequate with issues of intelligent or learning new things, I give my dad partial credit for this.

Dick Smith was a hard working man. Towards the end of his life, he suffered with Lupus and cirrhosis of the liver. There were days when he was taking 25-30 aspirin a day. He had open sores on his legs that would never heal. Yet, I remember that he went to work most days with that pain to a job that was dirty, mundane and required significant physical labor. It would have been easy for him to give up, make excuses and stay in bed. I respect that he chose to fulfill his responsibilities.

A little crazy in the application but I remember Dad put a picture of a starving child on the back of my door. He wanted me to be aware that not all children had food to eat. He wanted his children to learn gratitude. Amazing to me that one of the things that challenge me with my children is their lack of gratitude.

Dad loved Disneyland. We share that. To this day, when I enter Main Street with my family, I feel a thrill. Kinda strange but Dad looked a little like Walt Disney. Bright blue eyes, a similar hairline and mustache.

I am reminded today thinking about my dad that we all have a great propensity for good. And I too can say as Nephi, I, Stacey, having been born of (sometimes) goodly parents and be grateful for the gift of life and life experience. It also makes me so grateful for the father of my children.

Enough for now...love to all.

Two posts in one day. Incredible (pronounced en-cred-eee-blah). I wanted to post a couple of fun photos earlier to augment my bleach post but ran out of time.

I spend 5 hours tonight finishing up a Scrapbook for Father's Day. I had contacted the older kids and asked them to write some memories of their Dad. They all returned really poignant beautiful letters. We should all have the priviledge of dying the day after we receive such tributes.

I am reading "The Secret." My favorite takeaway is about weight. Instead of indulging the thought...I am getting so fat, I must lose weight..the book proports that you visualize yourself at the desired weight and the Universe will tune to your visualized frequency. I am all over this. Speaking to you from my size 8 body.

Enough for now...love to all.

Inspired by my friend Carrie's homage to Duct Tape (which by the way is a common nickname for my husband, Doug Tate) I want to expound of the glories of the Clorox Bleach pen. I have never been a gifted laundress and for many years I have struggled to keep my whites white. Then along comes the bleach pen. Ah the joys of spot bleaching. I gloried in my ability to retain items before considered disposable. However, my elation was starting to become comprised by a price/volume consideration. I was going through a bleach pen with each white load. Clorox had me in its grips. Until one day I began pondering what others products there might be in a bleach format that could satisfy my need for volume bleaching. I thought about the creme bleach I use to color my hair...then it dawned on me the number of times I have been vigorously cleaning with Softscrub (not often enough) and the spray had ruined some very attractive black sweats (oxymoron).

Could it be that I could use Softscrub to bleach my whites, thwarting the Clorox product manager who believe 2 oz of bleach in that little tube is worth $4.39? I tried it, it works. Now I no longer have to judiciously spot my whites. I can indulge socks and underwear freely with the white magic. After all I know get 20 oz for a mere $1.89. The math is so exciting $1.89 vs. $43.99. Okay, in life we all have to give up something to get something. The little scrubbing grains may stress the fabrics slightly, so I don't suggest using it on the wedding dress. But for my needs, a definite win.

Okay, this long post about the joy of finding a more economical way to bleach my whites may seem a little sad but truly there was a feeling of accomplishment which is more than I can say many of my days.

Enough for now...love to all.

SPENCE THE MAGNIFICENT!!!!
Okay so I know enough bragging out my children takes place on this site but I have a couple of things I want to record about Spence. I have been a bit challenged with my new camera. A couple of days ago Spence asked if he could take a couple of photos. He went outside and took a few shots of neighborhood kids. His composition and the feel of his shots blew me away. We printed this shot, framed it and gave it to the parents of these girls, honestly some of the shots he took look like the inserts to the photo frames you buy. Effortless!

Next, we got the results back for the GATE testing (Gifted and Talented Placement). Spencer did very well overall 68/72 possible but what blew us away is the fact that he got a perfect 36/36 in the Math Application and Comprehension testing. He is in the 100% national for his age. This is the kid who doesn't think he should be required to get up a 7 am. Amazing.

Enough bragging...love to all.

Sharpening the Saw!!!!

I thought I would post a panorama photo of my desk taken with my new Olympus Evolt 410

DSLR. I had originally intended to purchase a Canon Rebel but ended up with the Olympus because the package included two lenses and this camera is one of the first to offer the LCD screen as a viewfinder. It was a surprise to me but with most DSLR's you do need to look through the little window to frame the shot.

I am very intimidated by this new camera. I was inspired by the amazing photos on this blog: http://karenrussell.typepad.com/ The beautiful aperture shots where the childs face or key subject is highlighted. I want to up my photo game. But honestly there are few times where I have felt unable to "get it." This is one of those few occasions. I think it has something to do with my short attention span and the 4 pt. pica type of the camera manual. I swear I need a magnifying glass to read the thing and a translator to help me understand what they said. The language of photography is as foreign as any.

I will likely purchase a DSLR for Dummies manual. I also need to look into better photo storage as I move through this new "creative trivial pursuit." Look for beautiful things.

Enough for now...love to all.

NEW SHOES!!!!! Tonight we went shopping for tennis shoes and both Spence and Michaela wanted the same pair---Sketchers Aerators. Apparently these shoes have employed technology that pushes air through the shoes to keep the odor at bay. This remains to be seen. But surprise, surprise the sporty boys pair appeals equally to my girl.

Be prepared--I also bought a new camera tonight. My first SLR with two lenses. Expect great things.

Enough for now...love to all.

Why is it so hard to accept that your kids may not always like you. Spencer has always had a difficult time waking up in the morning. Most mornings, I get up and wake him at 7:00 am. I stay in his room long enough for him to answer a question so I can insure he is awake. I then go about my business and begin the process of wondering if he actually got up. I listen for stirrings of activity. Then about 7:20 I go back into his room and remove the covers from his head (I have never known anyone who can wrap a blanket tightly and completely around his head to sleep. How does he breathe?). I have talked, yelled, indicated that it is not fair (highly ineffective) and still he continues to rely on me to provide this multi-phase waking ritual. This morning I went for the jugular. I grounded him from Game Boy for a day. While dropping him off, he gave me a really crusty look. I asked him what the problem was. He said, "A kid can't be expected to get up that early." I looked across the schoolyard and thought about all those children who shouldn't be expected to get out of bed by seven. I can't wait for High School and Seminary.

And I thought you had kids so you would never be without your friends.

Enough for now... love to all.

I'm feeling a little frustrated tonight. Kids watching too much TV--difficult to get them to quit arguing--challenges with wanting to work at a different level with my clients--I feel a sense of discord. While looking for quotes for a class project, I came across this quote from Shel Silverstein:

God says to me with kind of a smile,"Hey how would you like to be God awhile and steer the world?""Okay," says I, "I'll give it a try. Where do I sit? How much do I get? What time is lunch? When can I quit?"

"Gimme back that wheel," says God,"I don't think you're quite ready yet."”

I am not ready to be in charge of the Universe so maybe it is okay to give back the wheel.

Enough for now...love to all.

Been playing with Photoshop lately. Here is one of my dubious masterpieces in honor of Memorial Day. Memorial Day has always been an odd holiday for me. Just an extra Saturday thrown in after Sunday for a change. Layla had a play date with Katie Donovan, so Doug, Spencer and I went to lunch at the Elephant Bar. This evening we received a last minute invitation to a neighborhood barbeque. At first I thought, okay how do we get out of this gracefully. But then Spencer ran in looking truly excited to participate. I didn't have the heart to keep him in, so I made a quick fresh guacamole salad and off we went. As always, once we got there and started to talk we had a great time.

I read a quote that made me smile by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

Evermore in the world is this marvelous balance of beauty and disgust, magnificence and rats.

Enough for now...love to all.

My Bookclub friend Cherie Yates passed this along.

COOKIES

At an airport one night, with several long hours before her flight, She hunted for a book in an airport shop, bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop. She was engrossed in her book but happened to see thatthe man sitting beside her as bold as could be grabbed a cookie or two fromthe bag in between them. She tried to ignore to avoid a scene. So she munched the cookies and watched the clock as the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock. She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by thinking, "If I wasn't so nice I would blacken his eye." With each cookie she took, he took one too. When only one was left, she wondered what he would do. With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it in half. He offered her half, as he ate the other, as she snatched it from him and thought....ooh, brother! This guy had some nerve. And he's also rude, why he didn't even showAny gratitude! She had never known when she had been so galled. She sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate. She boarded the plane and sank in her seat. Then she sought her book which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage she gasped with surprise, there was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes... if mine are here.... she moaned in despair the others were his. And he tried to share. Too late to apologize she realized with grief that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief! Moral of the story: How many times have we absolutely known that something was a certain way, only to discover later that what we believed to be true....was not?

"Always Keep An Open Mind And An Open Heart, Because... You Just NeverKnow....You might be eating someone else's cookies"

Thanks to all who so willingly share with me.

We saw Shrek 3 last week and loved it.

Enough for now...love to all.

The is our little Mouseketeer, Kailey Jo. She is almost 9 months old and looks so much of Michaela as a baby. Kailey has basically two moods, really happy and really ticked. When she is happy, she is so charming and alert. She is already starting to pull herself up to start walking. Spence and Michaela didn't walk until they were around 14 months. The joke around our house was that there was always an adult around to carry them and why ruin a good gig.

Life continues to be hectic. I have a 2 day sales meeting in Detroit this week. That three hour time difference wipes me out both ways. On Saturday, Doug and I slept and watched movies most of the day. I did go to the LA Temple for the Long Beach Stake commemoration of the rededication. We met in the Solemn Assembly. The speakers talked about the originally building of the LA Temple. The land (21 acres) was purchased in 1937 for $170,000. Today land in the area goes for about $5,000,000. an acre. Building was to begin on the temple right about the time the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor so it took 18 years to complete. I don't go to the temple as often as I would like. However, the peace that I felt while there is like no other.

Steve graduated from the U this month. We are so proud of him. He has plans to move back here to California. The kids adore him and will love having their "big" brother around more.

I took this picture of Michaela in Balboa. I love the bamboo grass backdrop. Michaela is entering the pre-teen phase of her life. She is challenging her parents on a regular basis. While she reminds me of myself at that age, creative and quirky, she is definately her own person. She loves to set goals for herself. She drew this picture of Christ giving money to a poor lady. I love her understanding of spiritual matters. She is my joy and as she said to me many years ago, "we have a spring between our hearts."

Enough for now...love to all.

Since I don't have a photo to celebrate Steve's birthday. I thought I would post one of Spence and Michaela that seems to fit.

Today is my brother Steve's 48th birthday. I dedicate this post to Steve.

Happy Memories and Things I Love About Stephen Paul Smith

1. Night games growing up. Mostly Hide and Go Seek and Kick the Can.

2. Steve was quite a bike rider as a kid. I remember him returning home after 50 mile rides.

3. Steve is wonderfully musical. I remember him building a dulcimer when he was in High School.

4. I always like to sing with Steve.

5. Steve and I selling hangers (he knows the significance).

6. Steve and I both played the cello in Jr. High.

7. The summer Steve and I returned to California when we stayed with the Websters.

8. Steve walking with me in Walk-a-thons.

9. Mormon Night at Disneyland.

10. Steve and I hanging out in St. George and Fish Lake.

11. Steve wrote great letters from his mission and sent funny rambling tapes to me on my mission.

12. Steve is very mechanical. He has always had the ability to see how things fit together.

13. Steve visiting DC.

14. Steve was pretty fearless as a young adult. Loved repelling, hangliding, would try anything.

15. Steve is a great conversationalist. He is not judgemental and he really seeks to build others up.

16. Steve loves to share his toys and talents.

17. Steve is a much loved Uncle and he insists on being called UNCLE Steve

18. Steve married a great girl.

19. Steve is a great father and takes his parenting very seriously.

20. Shopping at Home Depot with Steve for moulding.

21. Many lunches with Steve and my kids.

22. Visiting with Steve in St. George.

23. Steve taking Spence and Michaela for a night hike.

24. Steve's willingness to help me with anything I ask and for always wanting to hang out together.

25. I am so grateful to have Steve as my brother and my friend. His loving ways are a great example to me. He loves family and makes every event together more fun for everyone. I hope my son grows up to be much like Uncle Steve. Happy Happy Birthday Stevie dear!!!!!!!

I had the most interesting conversation with a colleague last Friday. I am working with one of our consultants and he shared with me that he had investigated the church around 10 years ago and was two days away from his baptism when he read a passage in the Book of Mormon-3 Nephi 20:19 that convinced him the Book of Mormon wasn't true.

I appreciated his openess with me and it came to light the intense amount of faith required to seek and understand the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It reminded me of a poem by Carol Lynn Pearson called "To An Atheist" where she talks about using the right tools to determine if God exists. I keep trying to find the poem online but just keep running into Mormon blogs.

For Mother’s Day yesterday, I received a long stem rose. Spence broke the stem. He was concerned that I would be upset (I wasn’t). A little later he brought the rose to me planted in dirt in a vase. It made me think of my conversation on Friday with my atheist friend and how we apply a set of learning to life. He knows that flowers grow in dirt but was missing the concept that the growth is in the root development. It demonstrates how simple our understanding of this earth can be and the necessity of faith when I am too busy/lazy to study.

I am grateful.

Enough for now...love to all.

Been gone from the blog for awhile due to a crazy work schedule and family visiting all week. Clint, Natalie and Kailey Jo have been here since last Sunday (they left this morning). Amanda and Stever were here until Wednesday. A little hectic trying to balance school and work. Spence didn't make it to scouts and Layla missed achievement days. I think I am finally letting go of my bad mother guilt. There are just some things I cannot fit in. No photos tonight but will add tomorrow.
Off to work on Primary Mother's Day gifts.
Enough for now....love to all.

Here is a picture of the infamous "Jump in the Pool Fully Dressed" incident at the Bowler's pool.

I have been away at off-site sales meetings the last few days. These meetings usually provide me many ideas on how to freshly approach the clients I service. This meeting did not dissapoint. I love to hear ideas from those who are passionate about serving the client.

One thing I will admit is how I often feel like a fish out of water. I am at such a different stage of my life. There were twenty employees at the meeting, only 7 of us have children. At a stage when the kids are my world it seems strange.

Kids do provide such a different perspective on life. One would assume, having children would develop maturity, I'm not so sure. I still feel like a kids myself in some ways. A sales meeting is not unlike the playground at my kids elementary school. There are popular kids, athletic kids and the teachers pet.

We played volleyball on the beach one evening. I haven't played for almost 15 years. What a riot! I'm not very consistent but I am enthusiastic.

Oh well...enough for now....love to all.

I'm working on a project for Spencer's class. They wanted an item for the school auction that represented the class in some way. I came up with this idea to put the kids faces into flowers and then decoupage them onto a small gardening storage chest. Here is the first sample photo. Cool, huh!? I did this in photoshop. Right now I have five different craft projects in process: Bitty Booties for Celeste's baby, jeans for Rossmoor Spirit Day, this project for Spencer's class, a baby blanket for The Nesting Place for our monthly family service project, and a cardmaking project for Enrichment. I really love to create stuff. It fuels me. I just wish I had more time to complete the projects. Unfortunately, my pesky real job keeps getting in the way.

Enough for now...love to all.

Last night we had a great time with our friends the Bowlers. They have recently moved and their new place has a pool. Of course, my children need to check it out. Now mind you, they are not wearing swimwear. First the shoes come off. I ask why their shoes need to be off to see the pool. I left for a few minutes to run a quick errand when I receive a call from Doug saying that our children are in the pool fully clothed. Apparently, Celeste dared them to jump in and they complied. The water was freezing--not a factor when you are a kid.

What a metaphor for life, someone you trust dares you to jump in and you fully commit regardless of how you are prepared (dressed in this case).

I am incredibly blessed.

Enough for now...love to all.

I took a personal development course last weekend called the Landmark Forum. It was really a boost to my awareness of how I react to situations in my life. There have been so many times when I have been called on to lead groups of people, either in work or in the church. And while I have always been flattered by being chosen, I have always struggled with managing others. I have been frequently dissapointed in the committment of others to the task. In addition, I have exhibited a type of arrogance and superiority, believing that I was a better person for being willing to work harder, go the extra mile, etc. Honestly, what a crock! At a certain level I have not been willing to acknowledge my lack of skill in communicating honestly with my staff or those called to serve with me. I have not been particulary compassionate in my characterization of others and have been so willing to blame them for the lack of cohesiveness of the team--shying away from conflict because I wanted others to like me. Now don't assume I will change this overnight, after all I have had 46 years of seeing the world this way. But it is freeing to see my contribution from a different perspective and to have the opportunity to change and perhaps enjoy leading/managing. What a great opportunity!

Enough for now...love to all.